You’ve made your application, you’ve sent off a proposal, you’ve made an approach. And you didn’t get a no. But nor did you get a yes. Somewhere between those two lies the maybes.
You may have received a maybe because you missed out on a residency or grant, but the panel liked you and wanted to get in touch. Or, you get a yes for a proposal or project but then the organisation has a funding shortfall, change of staff, building renovation—something that gets in the way of the moving forward. In this post, I write about the ‘maybes’—the positive but unquantifiable responses we receive.
This post is by request and I’m very grateful for the provocation because otherwise, I don’t think I’d have thought to write this. That’s not because I don’t receive maybes, but rather the opposite—I’ve had so many—and each confuses me so much, I think once I’ve gone through a period of being preoccupied by a maybe, I hide them from myself. And in that hiding, I think I also deposit a bit a shame too for good measure. So, it is high time shine light on the maybes, not least for myself, to see what reframing might be possible.
Whereas rejection or acceptance, yes or no have clarity, the maybe has none. Maybes are false starts, unquantifiable favours, assets without details, compliments without commitment. While it might feel good to not get a no, the slipperiness of a maybe is disempowering. What do you do with a maybe? Without an action plan, budget or contract, what have you got?
See if you can find out what exactly is being offered or implied: is it a networking opportunity or a chance for deeper feedback or a recommendation to apply for something else on the horizon, or an introduction to someone else? What further intel can you gather? Would a phone call help you hear what’s being offered, off the record? If you’re not able to get more detail from the organisation/person, do you know anyone connected who could give you an overview?
From my own experiences though, maybes have felt stagnant, and I’ve found it difficult to generate momentum from them. I think the value of the maybe could emerge, possibly years later. So see if you can turn the maybe into a relationship-building exercise. Is the maybe to be seen as an introduction?
It maybe that you don’t get clear on the maybe and so at the minimum, take the compliment implied by it, and move on. Let it go. If there is something there, it will hopefully come back, clearer. I can tell you from experience, the maybe doesn’t get clearer from fixating on it. So let it go.
I think maybes, more so than acceptance or rejection, can destabilise or derail. I’ve found maybes have knocked my sense of direction and confidence—and it’s in those moments I’ve worked with a mentor to find the path again. I think the distracting quality of the maybe the effort to connect to external validation, and every time I’ve ever done that, I’ve felt so emotionally unsteady. With a mentor, you can unpack stagnancy in your practice and reconnect with what energises you and get going again. If you feel a bit maybe-ed out and lost, we can do that work together, I love getting creatives back on their path. You can book in for a discovery call to see if I can help.
Let me know if you’ve had better maybe experiences than I, or if you have other themes you’d like me to address.
