I wrote this in a giddy moment as part of my journaling for the last post. I was trying to describe to myself the way in which I had wanted to go deeper last year, but that I also resented what was coming up for me as a result. So, this is a comedic vignette of an inner dialogue I had. Honestly, if in the last post I hadn’t promised this would be the next post, I would have abandoned it because it seems a little hokey to me now. But, as ever, I’m sharing because I have a feeling I might be bringing into consciousness what others have been experiencing without being able to name.
Allie’s Inner Guidance (AIG) at the start of last year:
OK. The challenge of this time is to experience projects reaching fruition—old threads completing, things finally tying up. The real work for you is to learn from this so you can embody your creative and critical sovereignty. It’s going to be a challenge to dial this lesson in. Are you in?
Allie on the Ground (AOTG):
I’m in.
AIG:
It’s going to feel like you’re travelling the long way round, through treacherous, boggy terrain. You could take the fast route—get through the year quickly, learn nothing, and become more dependent on external validation. What do you want to do?
AOTG:
I want to develop my sovereignty. I’ll take the long route.
End of year check-in
AIG:
How are you doing? What have you learned?
AOTG:
(crying) I’m stuck in the bog. I’m sinking. I can’t see the path.
This is how I ended 2025. And how January and early February felt too.
Then, slowly, something shifted.
AOTG:
OK. No one is coming to pull me out of this bog.
But I do know this path has been walked before, by people I respect. I’m going to have to self-soothe. Pull myself out with good humour. Sit by the edge of the bog until I feel proud of myself for having done that—before I take another step.
From there, the path becomes easier. Not because the terrain changes, but because I’ve internalised my sovereignty.
The lesson here isn’t stoicism, or refusing help. I did ask for help. The lesson is about how I met the challenge. With levity. With less self-attack. With the willingness to stay put long enough for something to integrate.
The sovereignty was always there—that was the lesson of the year. But by the time I’d earned my stripes, I was too exhausted to recognise what I’d learned.
Sometimes insight doesn’t arrive as revelation. Sometimes it arrives as the ability to sit down, catch your breath, and keep going—without abandoning yourself.
If you’re finding yourself on the long way round—tired, bogged down, but still committed to your work—I mentor artists and enable them to feel lighter and clearer about the path ahead.
The next post begins from here—from what becomes possible once that sovereignty is claimed, as 2026 brings new energy and the Fire Horse momentum.
